hay_lo2000

Jemaine!

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 07:41:47 GMT

I fucking met Jemaine!

I just know he loves me.

Just let me have this dream.

Oh, here's the real pic, damn it.

The Nothing

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 03:39:24 GMT

I loved this movie, still do. For some reason, this scene really resonated with me. I was pretty young, about 14, and quite impressionable.

They look like big strong hands...

PMS for charity

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 04:31:22 GMT

There was a call for submissions for a poetry anthology, tentatively titled "Cranky Town" which is dedicated to poems infused with the irritability, despair, sadness and horror of PMS or Menopause,

The collection will benefit the women's shelter herstreet: http://www.laruedesfemmes.com/e_herstreet.htm

Here is my silly little poetry of rap, I submitted.

PMS, YO

So I'm moving along and minding my own business
When what's that feeling, could it be the menses?
My back is breaking and you're irritating
I think my stomach could use some deflating

I pass by a store and realize what is missing
I am in need of some sweet chocolate kissing
And chips 'n dip and some fruity pastries
And a big chocolate pie topped with whipped cream

Caught a glimpse of a pimpled face reflection
No amount of make-up can hide this complexion
I'm going back home cuz I'm feeling anti-social
I shouldn't be out cuz I could go postal

Drowning in sweets and watching romance movies
Crying out loud and shouting at the TV
I realize tomorrow, a better day will bring
Everything is better when I'm not PMSing

Simple life

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:02:25 GMT

Life is sometimes not the fairy tale we envision but if we try sometimes, we might find, we get what we need and what we long for becomes the burden. It has to. We do not wish to long for long... :)

I love this song, love the lyrics.

Simple Kind Of Life lyrics
For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a friendship that no one else could touch
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells

And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
And all I needed was a simple man
So I could be a wife

I'm so ashamed, I've been so mean
I don't know how it got to this point
I always was the one with all the love
You came along, I'm hunting you down

Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

If we met tomorrow for the very first time
Would it start all over again?
Would I try to make you mine?

I always thought I'd be a mom
Sometimes I wish for a mistake
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get
You seem like you'd be a good dad

Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 04:38:52 GMT

I attended a play at Hyde Park Theater called "House" written by Daniel McIvor. It was a dark comedy rich in exploration of the human condition. Specifically, loneliness and anger and the different paths followed to contain those emotions and finally use them to catapult toward resolution. Ken Webster is the HPT's artistic director and a primary actor thereof. This was a one man show; a task Mr. Webster excels in. There was no stage set and no props, aside from a chair, a broken cigarette, and one of those lights attached to a cord, the latter of which he used to angrily swing around his head on the darkened stage to great effect. This play took an odd turn: it opened with him thanking us for attending and not sitting at home watching television. This is a theme I still chew upon. He leapt from vine to vine: one moment fully in character and another, an actor in character and fully aware he is on stage in acknowledgment of performing for an audience, even stopping the play awkwardly to point this out. At one point, and one of my favorite moments of the show, he gestured for the house lights to be brought up exposing us all, dipped a toe off stage and into the world of audience playfully singing, "Uhh-ohhh." He stalked about the audience slowly instilling fear in each one of us that he would ask a question, stare at us head on, acknowledge our existence, or god forbid, make us get on stage and become part of the spectacle to be judged. He perched behind a man and asked if he regretted not staying home to watch TV. It was uncomfortable and exhilarating. The spotlight was frightfully turned upon us and we did not like it - oh, but we did! All the world's a stage! This was a play that had us heartily laughing one moment and exploring our own psychosis the next, then soaring us into the journey of his inner mind and back again. Loved it.

Afterward, we did our beloved post HPT show food and beer and strolled across the street for some of the best pizza in town at The Parlor. Awesome! There, as we were leaving, a drunken boy invited us for a beer. After we hem/haw I accept and graciously, my gal sticks with me though she has a bfriend. (Thank you, sweets!) I like this boy. He was in a group of 4 on an interrupted pub crawl so they were toasty and I thought the boy liked me but perhaps it was beer goggles. The Parlor closed so my gal drove them to Spiderhouse and I met them there, this self proclaimed Chimay Gang. It was tons of fun. Alas, I saw a ring on the boy's left hand and was disappointed. Me being the open and honest person that I am, said to him as he was leaving, "I would ask for your number but I see you are married. " He gave an affirmative and that was all. Ultimately, this is positive that I actually met and spoke with a boy while out and about and I liked him. So he's married. Maybe the next one will not be married or gay. I have hope.

There are no words

Wed, 27 May 2009 04:41:45 GMT

Forever and always baffled and entertained by the interwebs offerings.

You must use sound for this.

Alamo blues

Thu, 21 May 2009 02:21:18 GMT

I love the Alamo Draft House. In fact, I attend no other theater unless it is a dire situation, such as trying to see "Star Trek" on opening day. One of the reasons I go to Alamo is for the crowd. It is a serious movie crowd who tend to be not too young and not too geriatric. Generally, they do not involve kids unless it's a serious kids movie and during matinee days/times only. The Alamo crowd does not talk during the movie. They are born ninjas. They crouch like tigers and hide like dragons when rising to go to the bathroom or anything aside from sitting in their chair. And they dork out at the end feverishly and SILENTLY awaiting the credits for end of movie geekdom. Alas, today, there were few Alamo people in the crowd while viewing "Wolverine" which I enjoyed. Hell, I might have enjoyed it more if not for the constant snickering and laughing from two rows back. I glared at them once which shushed them for a moment. They once again shushed after I returned from the bathroom - I think they thought I went to tattle. I was distracted during the movie with fantasies of my expression. For example: I thought when I returned from the bathroom I would whisper a sweet request to the offenders. Something southernly while batting my eyes. Alas, I did not. I thought I might rise after paying my tab and ask them to be quiet for the remainder of the film. I did not. Finally, when there was no more than 5 minutes left, I rose and turned to them and yelled, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you think you're at a comedy? Why are you here? Next time, stay home! Seriously!"
I sat down. I stood back up, "Are you tripping? You are fucking assholes! Seriously, shut the fuck up and next time, just stay home!"
No applause but many smiles (only 10 other people there). I care not. I felt like a million bucks. God help the next ahole who ruins my movie.
The last thing I heard from them was an apology. I think it was a gay pride embarrassment thing more than remorse but still. It felt goddamn good. Funny, I was the only one show stayed for the after credits fun. I wonder why...

Star Trek

Sun, 10 May 2009 03:08:43 GMT

Friday, I spontaneously saw "Star Trek" - a much beloved show of mine. Not to be too trekkie and weird, but I grew up on the show, it was the first thing I remember dreaming about, and James T. Kirk my first crush. At age 5, I dreamed of being on the Enterprise. Not being able to escape the realty of being 5, in my dreams, Captain Kirk was in a teaching role. Funny. The show helped shape my idealistic tendencies and love of Science Fiction. For a time, I watched every show a million times, and tried to read every book written (an impossibility). I went into the movie optimistic from having heard good things, knowing JJ Abrams was at the helm, and my beloved Simon Pegg played Scotty. Alas, I hated the movie. Just kidding, I fucking loved it! Not for one single second did I experience anything other than affection, excitement, and awe. One of the best movie experiences I could have hoped for. The cast is top notch, achieving the impossible feat of honoring the characters and giving them new life. They achieved a perfect balance of acknowledging the past yet breathing new life. This movie appeals to all levels as witnessed by my buddy, Lori who apparently, knows nothing about the show or movies. At one point, when a character was introduced and he said his name was McCoy, I thrust my fists in the air with pure happiness, my friend Lori didn't even know the name! She was clueless but still loved the entire movie.

We clapped hard when the movie ended and stayed for the credits. I had the pleasure of explaining many things to Lori about the history etc. I will not tell you our conversation as it is sure to contain spoilers, revealing some of the charachters in the movie etc. Let's just say even I was flabbergasted at the amount of knowledge I contain in my brain about that world and it's inhabitants. It was then that we all realized just how big a trekkie I am. Scary and comforting all at once. Live long and prosper.

Conchords in Flight

Sun, 10 May 2009 02:53:42 GMT

I've had a great couple of days. I took off work Thursday and Friday for a couple of reasons. The first as something nice to do for myself for Mother's Day since no one else will and the second due to my Ex going out of town and having my girl full time which is great but it's nice to have some time off to oneself.

Work was crazy busy Wednesday as I made the mistake of telling people I would be gone for two days. The horror. People went into a panic needing things immediately; some for real and some for panic reasons only, which makes me feel needed and truthfully, I love being busy with the day flying by as opposed to twiddling my thumbs looking for things to do, but seriously folks - it's only two days.

Wednesday night I did my Alamo Lost thing with Buddies Hai and Chris. Good times. Thursday was pure laziness though I did manage to clean the house. Thursday night, I attended the Flight of the Conchords show at Bass Concert Hall. A bigger venue than I would hope to see such a musical/comedy act but our tickets were decent. The people watching was ripe for this show with so many hipsters and people who think they're hip. I was surprised by the amount of young boys with their dads in tow. I found that interesting. There seems to be a reversal in gender as age increases. That is to say, the younger fan base tends to be male and the older fan base tend to be female. This is all very unscientific but fun for me to think about.

The show was awesome, Bret and Jemaine, the two New Zealanders who make up Flight of the Conchords were hilarious and surprisingly interactive and engaging (even wandering into the audience). They were very humble and obviously thankful for their good fortune, attempting to give all they could in their very unique dry deadpan way. At times they played what various audience members screamed out and at others decided to stick to their loosely built set list. They were not afraid to deviate and were very improvisational. One thing I love about artists, the ones who are gifted and not afraid to follow their own path, is the willingness and curiosity of playing a song differently. For songs we know and love, they used different instruments ad libbed and added entire new verses into the songs. They kept it fresh and us on our toes. I'm not trying to make them sound all artsy and complicated, this is a comedy act and comedy they delivered. We laughed, we cried tears from laughing. It was worth the price of the ticket two times over. Loved it. One audience member yelled out, "I love you!" Jemaine deadpanned, "I'll take 'you' to mean in the plural." There are two of them, you know. They bantered with the audience, encouraged it early on, then lovingly shushed people when they got too crazy and disruptive, but the banterings between the two of them were almost as good as the songs. These are fast witty guys. I've stolen a line from Jemaine. When describing their show and how they will talk to us in between songs, he said, "We Lie to you. We tell you lies but if you laugh then they are jokes." We heard jokes and we love our fictional yet real Bret and Jemaine.
Present.

IMMK

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 04:16:39 GMT

I miss my kid.

Everything she sees
she says she wants.
Everything she wants
I see she gets.

That's my daughter in the water
everything she owns I bought her
Everything she owns.
That's my daughter in the water,
everything she knows I taught her.
Everything she knows.

Everything I say
she takes to heart.
Everything she takes
she takes apart.

That's my daughter in the water
every time she fell I caught her.
Every time she fell.
That's my daughter in the water,
I lost every time I fought her.
I lost every time.

Every time she blinks
she strikes somebody blind.
Everything she thinks
blows her tiny mind.
That's my daughter in the water,
who'd have ever thought her?
Who'd have ever thought?
That's my daughter in the water,
I lost everytime I fought her
Yea, I lost every time.

The American Dream

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 02:29:32 GMT

The bank sent a letter stating my escrow is short. After calling, they advised me the taxes were estimated at 3K but they paid out 5K. I knew the taxes in this area were 4K to 5K, why didn't they? I don't recall going over this in the paperwork during closing, but perhaps I thought it was pro-rated... Regardless, I am short. I can either pay 2K up front for the shortage and have my monthly payment increase by $100 or do nothing and have them spread it over the next 12 months increasing my payment by $300. Assuming then that nothing increases for 2010 then the payment should decrease by $200.

Is it worth using 2K of my savings to keep my monthly payment down or do I bite the bullet and spread it out over 12 months? I don't think it would put me in the black but I'm afraid it would severely cramp my lifestyle, not that I actually go out much anymore but I don't get any child support now so it's all up to me. Kids are friggin expensive! Not to mention the unexpected expenses. I mean, just this month, I had to buy a new lawn mower (400), a new hoover (300), and car insurance is due... I also need to have someone over to check the leaking water heater. It's one thing after another and we all know it never ends.

The whole friggin point was to have a mortgage I could afford with low monthly payments. I feel like I was scammed.

Beards

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 03:13:45 GMT

I come clean. Not that I think I've been hiding it all along but this is why I love beards. Barry Gibb. I will always love him

hoovers R us

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 04:19:59 GMT

Today, after a few minutes at work stealing some time from consumer reports, I thought I would purchase a new hoover. Please note: my usage of the word "hoover" is not in the brand sense vs the action sense (like a Brit). Like a good old citizen, I went to Sears in Hancock center. Upstairs in the appliance section were four rows of hoovers and an old black man to show and sell me one. I've seen him before - yeeeears before. He's been at the overlook hotel forever, and ever, and ever. Sorry, er, you know what I mean? He's been in that crappy job so long, I just wanted to buy something from him so he would have a good week. Especially in this economy. This turned out to be a hoover dream. This great Morgan Freeman hoover man, after showing me a few hoovers, threw some dirt on the Sears floor, for me to hoover with this new and wonderful contraption, only to find NOT ONE HOOVER COULD PICK IT UP. Seriously, this dirt stayed unmoved on he floor. It was soooo horrifyingly embarrassing. I made an excuse for the first hoover and said the bag was full. This man, full of idealism, grabbed a second hoover. Afer that one failed and some minutes of thought, he said, "the wax on the floor is still wet. Nothing will pick up the dirt."
Bravo, but we both knew a sure sale had left. I think I heard his curses as I floated down the escalator.

Earworms never stop

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 03:39:08 GMT

This one crops up from time to time but has been strong these last few days. Since I'm an alto, it's way more fun to sing than most songs.
I couldn't find a decent video so apologies upfront for the seeming yacht rock. I make amends by the additional video below. Vintage James Taylor and Carly Simon. It is brilliant.

Additional earworm

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 06:28:19 GMT

Actually, the earworm I had before that whimsical one in the previous post was the one below. I could NOT get it out of my head and had to youtube it at work to listen to, sometimes, four or fives times in a day. Hmm maybe that's why my brain gave me a mystery to solve and take my attention away... Anyhoo, I think you will enjoy this one.

Earworm

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 05:51:46 GMT

They can be good and not so good. Then, as I discovered, they can be mysterious, maddening, and mysteriously maddening. All I had in my head for three days was something like, "dun nuh nuh nuh - duh nuh nuh nuh.... duh nuh nuh nuh.... duh nuh nuh nuh..."
I tried to think of other things. The next day. Words came, one at a time, "STOP," and "MYSELF". I knew these words were emphasized somehow.
Another day - progress in the form of a muffled voice. A woman's voice, and a decade! 80s!!! Ah, something to work with. I waited until I was home and then concentrated. It took just another couple of days to get the song and when I did it wasn't quite as I imagined. Once I got the singer, then the band or solo? Had to google endlessly for the two words I knew in the song but finally my work was rewarded with... THIS?!?! Oh, the humanity!

Bitter sweet

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 10:35:53 GMT

My housemate and dear friend, Lori, announced she will be moving in with her sister this April. I am sad to see her go but also relieved. I didn't buy this house with a third person in mind so it's been tough at times. I bought it for me and Ems, no dogs, no other people, just the two of us. Though Ems has grown to love Lori and the dogs, it will be nice to have our privacy back. Just the two of us without any distractions, not to mention my not constantly cleaning up after another person and her shit.

I am excited at the prospect of having my house back again - especially, my backyard. I had huge plans for it which went to hell when I took them in. Now, I am fantasizing about gardening. I can't wait to get started on my house!

Oh, having the dogs leave means I might have to get a kitten. Ems asks for one every day. It tugs on my strings and I may have to get a little fluffball though I said I never again would have another animal. I believe it is important for kids to have pets and very important to rescue from a shelter. Kids need to know the plight of animals. Well, and not to be extreme but also where their food comes from, I am a vegetarian but Ems is not. I feed her meat and I try to educate her, without being graphic, where it comes from.

Anyhoo, I will miss her and miss the measly amount of money she paid me. I did this out of kindness and not the money; otherwise, I would have asked for more. I hoped she would have paid off more bills with my kindness but I think instead she simply spent more, feeling free from anything. Ah, it's not my life. Still. it irks me.

I can't wait to begin creating my enchanting back yard! If anyone has any suggestions for this novice, PLEASE feel free to suggest! I have NO idea what I am doing and would greatly appreciate anything anyone has to say about gardenign OR home stuff.

pageant

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 04:39:17 GMT

Pageant mothers should be shot. Maybe not in the head. Perhaps the leg or knee would do. They are evil. Seriously. Evil. Unfortunately, I'm glued to this documentary like a circus sideshow.

Think before you speak

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 06:23:12 GMT

When Emily was close to a year old, I decided I could take a "Mommy Day" once a month. This consisted of my taking a Friday off work, Larry (my ex) picked up Ems from school (day care) so that I could go out to a movie and arrive home later that evening. I am the only mommy I know of, then and now, who took this time for herself, in fact, demanded it for herself, for her mental well being and happiness. All the mommies I know do not do this, they "do it all" sacrificing their lives, happiness, and privacy for their husbands. Those mommies are all still married. I am not.

I am going to Europe for two weeks beginning this February. I know I am lucky to have this opportunity. Since divorce, my life has changed beyond recognition. This is good. It has to be. Know this: I would give it all up to have the married life of my dreams. To experience Paris with my husband. Since this is not possible, and I know not if I will ever marry again, I must grab opportunity where it presents. Therefore, I go to Europe and Paris in a few weeks.

I love my job, immensely. My job duties require others to know when I am away. Some are curious, some know my love of travel, some are nosy, the distinctions of which, I can not get into.

At work last Friday, one of my most annoying coworkers and thorns in my work life asked me where I was going on vacation. Mind you, she had asked me two weeks prior... I told her I was flying into Brussels and then on to Bruge and Paris. She asked if there would be children with me to which I replied with a simple, "no, no children." She said I was so lucky to be able to go away all alone without children and a husband... I smiled and nodded wondering if the wrinkles around my eyes could reveal my pain. Good lord, lady. what makes you think I wouldn't trade this wonderful opportunity for a marriage? A happy domestic life in which my husband never cheated on me? A life in which I was actually good enough? What makes you think I want a life in which I am in Paris on Valentine's day alone, you fucking hag? Why don't you think before you speak and for once, be thankful of your own fucking domestic marital unhappiness and do something about it?
Fucking douchbag.

Sleep

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 05:38:45 GMT

I'm not here so much anymore. Partially because I haven't much to say but mostly because if I haven't anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. I shall break this rule. I haven't an outlet elsewhere so here it is.

This evening was difficult in the parental field. My girl couldn't get to sleep and mind you, I am one with a whole array of sleep issues. It kills me to see her struggle with sleep at such an early age. We all know sleep is intricately linked to health of mind and body. Anyhoo, I need a fricking manual because the child did not get to sleep until 20 minutes ago, that is 11:00 pm and two hours and forty five minutes after I put her to bed. I actually didn't hear a peep from her until about 9ish but then, wow, it was constant. Her tummy hurt, her throat hurt, she was scared, she needed me, she had to sleep on the couch, there were monsters and wow, her monsters are super scary - they crawl under the floor and burst up just in time to get you. Those are her words. Naturally, I wonder what the hell she is watching with her father, who I have heard him tell her, "if there are no monsters in the movie then I don't want to see it!"

Fucking asshole. She's only four! Sacrifice and watch Spongebob instead, ok?

She's asleep in my bed. I guess you can say I lost the battle. At 10:30, I thought I had won until upon investigation of noises discovered her sitting at her door with many of her lovies and lovies spead across into in my room. I'm probably wrong but I told her to get into my bed and go to sleep adding that I wouldn't be there for a long time. I know this isn't the best thing for her but god, she *had* to sleep now. We can work on it later. Uphill and against all odds because I can't help what her father does. He undoes everything I do which modestly, i say is the best for her. He does what is easiest for him (yes, I did but only after over two and a half fucking hours). She loses. I lose. He wins. Always. This is the life of a divorcee and a child of two households. It. Fucking. Sucks.

Tree Wars

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 00:39:43 GMT

It happens this time of year; that is, the season of the Tree. I give you - Tree Wars!!!

Better than jeffdixon ?

You be the judge. And post your own.

\

Four year old logic

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 02:10:50 GMT

Last Sunday, my four year old little girl, Ems, and I walked to my Grandmother's house. Yes, we live .06 mile away which is a very easy walk. I am pleased my girl enjoys walking and happy to model healthy behavior.

After our visit, which was quite nice, we walked back taking in all of the various Xmas lights and decorations. There was one decoration or light in particular that Ems tried desperately to point out and talk to me about, but I couldn't understand what she was pointing or talking about. At four, 99% is understandable but at times, she hasn't the skill to describe certain things. She became frustrated, I apologized and said, "oh, goodness, I just don't know, Ems. I'm lost. Mommy is just lost."
Very logically and literally she replied, "You're not lost mommy, I see you."
It was hilarious.

Kitty speak

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:06:50 GMT

The Lone Wolf

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 04:06:38 GMT

My exbf interpreted the ending to mean they fell in love. Not us, no. Them, not us.

He was the lone wolf you could see it in his eyes
The way he held his heart the way he held his lies
Sometimes he's just show up outside on the porch
And hour at a time like a lonely whore

She was a scarecrow the way she always looked around
For something she once had and never could be found
Time was on her side but she never kept track
All the hunters came and took her memories back

Once they met inside a dirty curtained room
And the rain fell down hard that day onto the tin roof
She said "I've seen you before, I've been looking for you
Better keep your heart close hunters are coming for you"
He said "I've seen them before and I always get away
Cuz you will never stop looking and I will never stay"

The lone wolf kissed her mouth like so many before
Scarecrow closed her eyes and then she closed the door
And the rain fell down on the tin roof when the hunters came that night
Stole all of her memories killed the wolf and all his lies

Run

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 03:43:58 GMT

Oh, my child 30 years today
You came into my life
And everything changed
If there's one thing I tried to teach you
Girl, don't you waste your time
Come this September
You'll be somebody's wife

I won't paint a picture
Of what you want to see
Love is the harder times
Take it from me

I would run down the lane
And into the night
Run so fast I swear my feet would fly
Run from my babies asleep in their beds
Run from my lover and my best friend
And back again

All of this courage
I've tried so hard to hold on to
Ever since that day
You and your brother left for school
They say just over that hill
The fog rolled in
Come quick doctor
We think somebody's been killed

I have been a healer
Of other people's pain
I know sometimes you don't like
The ways i've changed

But the smell of the world came into my lungs
The sound of the gravel when my legs went numb
And my heart nearly burst right out of my chest
And it felt so good to know I wasn't dead